As a mom, I go back and forth about routines.  Do I really want one? When I have one, my mom role becomes repetitive and boring. When I don’t, I long for the days that routine simplifies.

Now that I am home from London, my mom routine is back. I get up at the same time, work out, get the kids breakfast, shower, laundry, and then clean the piles from the night before. By that time its lunch and I start making dinner, which leaves about one hour to do my own thing before the kids come home. Dinner, taxi, homework, bedtime rituals and after that I flop only to do it all over again the next day.

When my husband’s job took us to the UK for a short period of time (5months), routines were nonexistent. For the short time I was there, I loved it.  I was involved in The American Women’s Group In Surrey, a group of 500 women,  the majority of which did not work. My job as a mom in the UK was to set up a social network for the family, to make things fun.  Each day I had a fun agenda, touring the Queens private gardens, taking cooking classes, going to lunch to meet new friends, touring the Olympic Village, visiting Rochester where Charles Dickens was writing, and more. When my family would ask me what I did that day, the answer was standard.

“Networking. I spent time meeting people and seeing things that I could share with all of you on the weekend. Isn’t that great?”

Some days it went over, and others, I got the evil stare. Regardless, it was a good use of my time.

Even with all the fun, there were days when I longed for my groove.

Now Stella is home and she has her groove back as if she never  left. It is the same breakfasts, the same workout routines, and the same agenda, day in and day out. My kids know I am depressed. My husband knows I am depressed. How could I not be under stimulated and blue?  They want their happy mother back. How do I do it? As  mothers, how do we create stability and routine while incorporating excitement and fun? Can I be a mom and still have a life?

The good news is that as a family we have never been closer. My husband is home looking for a new position spending a lot of time with the family. My kids come home right after school to share their day and reconnect. Our home is overflowing with  love and life. In the end, that alone is what makes me happy. If I had to put it all in the till, I would pick this over anything else and on days that aren’t always exciting, that is what I need to remember.