Since I have gotten back from the UK things haven’t been so easy. I feel like life is sucking me up. I feel isolated and wonder where all my friends are. The reality is that most are at work, which leads me to the next question. Should I be at work?
The transition for the kids has been easier, with their routines, they are back in school surrounded by friends. My husband is busy as well. He has never worked harder, interviewing and meeting with different companies to find a new position.
My routine is off. When I lived in the UK, I put the kids on the bus at 7:15 when it was still dark and picked them up from the bus at 6pm, in the dark. In between, I knew they were in a great space, as so was I. By 10 am I had worked out, showered, cleaned our small house, and was skipping to the train to station to meet friends and explore London. I would arrive home about 3 and make dinner, preparing for my families arrival. At night I would walk to the train station and wait at the pub for my husband’s train, and the kids school bus. I had a great life.
Here, all the traces that I am my own gal have disappeared. My last one gets on the bus at 9 and my oldest gets out at two which leaves me just enough time to clean the house, do laundry, a couple of errands, and cook dinner. I keep thinking there has to be a way to come back but yet move forward with my life. I will put it out into the universe with hopes of hearing an answer while the vacuum isn’t running.
Thirteen days until we return home for the holidays and we are all counting down. At first I have to say that I didn’t miss home. I didn’t miss the day in, day out routines, the endless to-do lists, and the chores that seemed to appear faster than I could check them off. I loved the fact that I was in another country and was able to travel to places that I couldn’t even pronounce. I loved the fact that my house was big enough to feed my family and my pub down the street was three times the size. I loved learning how to cook foods I wasn’t familiar with – ha ha ha, fresh foods. There are no Dunkin Donuts here, no fast food, no super sizing of any kind. When a Brit wants a large beverage they will say “give it to me American style…extra large.” I even got used to recycling and putting out one trash bin for a family of six every TWO weeks. [pullquote]Believe it or not, one dented fender and $5,000 bill later, I even got used to driving on the wrong side of the road. [/pullquote]
Now I am ready to go home. I miss my family, my friends, and I miss my dog and cat. I was afraid to open that door in my heart. I didn’t make too many phone calls home to tell people I missed them. I looked forward and never looked back, until now. The last month I have had a dreaded cold, probably pneumonia. In the absence of sunlight our average time we get up on a Saturday is somewhere between 10:30 and 11:30. Am I regressing back to college days?
When the trip is over I am sure I will be refreshed and tired of the phone ringing off the hook. I am sure I will want to get out of the freezing cold. I am sure that I will look forward to the trips into London and the outings with my new girlfriends. For now, I will count the days and open that door to everyone I love so much.